DNO
by melANDkel
Summary: FIRST SNOW BALL STORY! D.N.O. stands for drunk night out. First chapter by teehee123. stay with us! we are trying! first chapter is short. only 312 words long
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: OKAYY. FIRST OFF, THIS IS WRITTEN BY TEEHEE123. FIRST ATTEMPT AT A SNOW BALL STORY SO STAY WITH ME. I HOPE MELKEL TAKES THIS SOMEPLACE GOOD AND FUNNY! SORRY FOR THE UBER SHORTNESS!**_

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I sat in the bar thinking what a prick Jacob is. What kind of guy dumps you over a text message? Freaking ass wholes do, that's who. No, a freaking ass wholes that has no respect for women. Or women that he told he loves.

We had been best friends sense we were little kids. When we were 18 he asked me out. I was afraid that if I said no it would ruin our friend ship, so I said yes. Later I realized that he had screwed over our relationship either way we went. I slowly fell in love with him. As I did I thought maybe this was a good thing. He told me he loved me. He wanted our relationship to become physical in a way that I wasn't ready for. He told me he understood and he didn't press the situation any further. The next morning I caught him in bed with another woman. When I confronted him, he dumped me before I got the chance. Which is a really long way of saying that drama went down that the only way to cure is to drink off.

"Bella, he was an idiot! Build a bridge and get the hell over it!" my friend Alice shouted at me, letting out a large belch. She was a nice girl, but had a low tolerance to alcohol.

After a few more beers, Alice started daring me to do things. I wasn't drunk enough to follow through with them. But by the time she dared me to go flirt with the bronze headed boy in the back. I was.

"Hey cutie!" I hiccupped out.


	2. Chapter 2 Sex Bunnies

"Um…Hi?"

"You have such beautiful eyes! They're soo green! And your hair! It looks like bunnies live in it. Cute little sex bunnies. I bet sex bunnies live in your hair, don't they?"

The hottie was staring at me and laughing. Pssh. It was probably the black dress I was wearing that was making him smirk like that. I _told _Alice it made me look like a stripper-Granny, but no one listens to me. Otherwise I don't think I'd be wearing this dress.

He looked at me with a yummy smile. "Okay, sure. Yeah." I clambered into his lap, straddling him. "Watch out!" He gripped my waist to keep me from falling off. "You have big hands, huge really." I commented absentmindedly, while I got about an inch away from him. I reached behind him to look at his shirt tag, before tucking it back in. "Just what I thought," I said.

"What?"

"Your shirt says 'Made in Heaven.'" He looked at me blankly for a second, but then cracked up laughing, holding his side. I just winked over at Alice, who was looking on and giggling uncontrollably. I smiled idly at him, while running my fingers through his hair. I was trying to see if I could find any sex bunnies in it. I bet they'd look cute making sweet bunny love. I pulled at several of the strands, which felt like a sheep- a sexy sheep that is- and looked all through his hair while he was staring at something on my lap with a pained expression.

"You could be in a Pantene commercial. I bet you'd look sexy in a waterfall, especially if you went commando that day." Sex Bunny started coughing uncontrollably, so I thumped him on the back a couple times to help him out. He was gripping my waist tightly, and it was slightly painful, but I liked his big hands there, so I let it be.

"You okay there Babe?" I smiled at him sweetly. He gave me a thumbs up while he continued to hack his lungs out. "That sounds quite painful," I said thoughtfully. I reached behind me to hand him his glass of scotch from the bar, and he gratefully grasped it in his other large hand and quickly downed it.

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

"Why?"

"You're a very comfortable chair." I looked down at my lap on top of his, and noticed for the first time that my already short dress was hiked up so far you could see the beginning of my white underwear peeking out. Oops.

"Speaking of which, there are plenty of much more experienced chairs for your taking right here, so take your pick." He then quickly lifted me and put me into the chair to his right. He then picked up the papers he had on the bar and put them in his lap.

"Ohh! What are these?" I grabbed them off his lap and looked at them. They were homework assignments. "You're a teacher?"

"Yeah, I am." He paused to grab some of the papers back and put them back on his lap. I didn't pay any attention to it. "I teach sixth grade language arts. They're great kids."

"That's really cool! Let me read some of these." I tried to focus on the words on the page, but the danced and swirled around too much. I tried to follow them, but it disoriented me way too much. "Crap! I'm gonna hurl!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Not on the pap… awww shit!" Mr. Bunny Sexy Hair Dude yelled.

"Holy crap! I am so sorry! Is there anything I can do?" I asked suddenly sobering up from humiliation. Screw water. This is a much better way to get sober. And the worst way. UGGGGHHHHH!

"Ummm…. I guess not. But would you be so kind as to be the one to throw them away? I'll just give everyone the same grade." He said, giving me a sexy smirk. I imagined that smirk in ways any innocent person shouldn't, with magical sexy rainbows and unicorns everywhere… okay, maybe I wasn't so sober. I turned around to see what Alice was doing, only to see her walking out with Jasper, our designated driver.

"Noooo! Don't go!" I yelled as they walked out the door. Alice just winked at me and continued walking.

"Umm… Who are you yelling at?" Mr. Bunny Sexy Hair Dude asked. God, as much fun as it is to call him that, I need to know his name.

"My designated driver." I said letting out a sigh.

"Well then, my name is Edward Cullen, and I will be your chauffeur this evening."

"My name is Bella Swan and I will be the poor drunk in the back."

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I woke up in my bed the next morning with a killer headache and barely any memory of how I got there. All I could remember was Mr. "Bunny Sexy Hair Dude".

Suddenly Alice popped her head in, letting in a stream of light. I rolled over and groaned.

"Oh good Bella, your awake. Someone is here to see you."


End file.
